My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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