Can Purell be used as lube?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
