that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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