I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
