He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize