THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
