what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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