DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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