dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
