I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
