she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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