That's intense
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
