i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
