im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
