Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
