Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize