Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
