dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
