I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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