I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
