she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The struggles of a small town man whore
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
