Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
where am i from again
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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