Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
