Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
