you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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