So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He better not be in your backpack
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Pooping to opera.
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