I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
