its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
