I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize