Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
