Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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