Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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