ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
