Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
