Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You ruined the universe
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