just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
