I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
high people should be assigned attendants
Acid is not a monday night drug
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
