Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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