this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
