Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
