Jerry, you need to find god
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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