Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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