11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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