Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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