pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
