nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
