i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
