we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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