the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
