If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
