You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
