This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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