im gay
i know
yea but for you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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