Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
