why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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