Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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