I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize