I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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