distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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