Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
