I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
