she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
