I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
