I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
