Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
