I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
