Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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