my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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